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The Bold Italic
Jan 31, 2017
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Our “Weirdest Job Openings in the Bay Area” series has been really popular and fun to write. So this week we scoured Craigslist to find the weirdest things for sale. If you’re in the market for 100 crickets or 150 magazines about cigars, you’re in luck.
The best part of this ad is that the seller listed “God” as the maker of the product (crickets). I appreciate the Pokémon joke at the bottom and also her reason for dumping the crickets in the first place — “My daughter’s science experiment is over.”
Plus, cricket food is included for free-ninety-nine!
This person is looking to trade her/his kombucha scoby (symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast) for a variety of very specific things. If you have any of those very specific things, head to the Richmond for your kombucha starter. Like a real San Francisco business owner, s/he charges for bags.
According to Wikipedia, Omeprazole is used for “gastroesophageal reflux disease, peptic ulcer disease and Zollinger–Ellison syndrome.”
The same entrepreneur is also selling Ibuprofen and Doxepin in adjacent ads.
If the Walgreens label isn’t clear enough, the ad promises that the meds are “from the pharmacy.” So maybe that alleviates some of the sketchiness of buying prescription drugs off of Craigslist.
Upgrade your apartment (or start-up office) with the promise of a “money-making machine.” The owner is “very open to doing deals,” so maybe you can trade in your Coke machine for this Pepsi one.
This clever entrepreneur is selling ornate “vintage-style quart mason jars in purple glass.” The “decorative Ball logo and commemorative dating” are almost enough to make these mason jars worth $120. But… oh wait! They also come (full) with an ounce of weed.
This person loves their shrimp and would rather get rid of their betta fish than get a new tank. It’s your lucky day if you want a free fish and want to drive all the way to San Jose to get it.
Allegedly, these doors were made “on the island of Mombasa by the nephew of the last Sultan of Zanzibar.” His family made doors and chests for Harry Kissinger. Whether this is true or a Craigslist scam will take some more research to uncover, which you should do before spending half your salary on these babies.
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This is more of a barter than a sale, but if you need your teeth cleaned and can clean up this dentist’s yard, take care of his/her car repairs, clean his/her windows or paint, then you’re in business.
We didn’t know Cigar Aficionado Magazine was a thing. If you didn’t either, you can now catch up on 22 years of the issues you missed for a cool half a grand.
You didn’t know you needed it, but it comes with a “pocket for reading material,” so now you do.
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Celebrating the spirit of the Bay Area.
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Mostly I write postcards, but other times I write about food, dating, & early-30s crises. Writing fueled by late night burritos. Crises fueled by neuroses.
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