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At the moment, it seems like you are getting nowhere with your warnings, but there are some things that you could consider or try to improve the situation.
Firstly, I’d encourage you to consider if there is something that might be triggering this behavior since he wasn’t always like this. Perhaps he has some underlying medical condition that he needs to get checked out by the doctor.
This would also place him in a position where he would be hearing advice on overeating from someone else, not just you.
Otherwise, you say he is not depressed, but perhaps he is and is just not showing any signs or is doing a good job of keeping it from you.
This is where it could potentially get dangerous.
Has something happened that might be making him feel depressed? Has he suffered a bereavement? Lost his job?
Does he get socially engaged enough? Spends enough time speaking with his family?
He could be depressed or may even just be feeling a bit low if any of these important things have been impacted in some way. Overeating may in fact be a symptom of depression and is the way he is managing his emotions at this time.
He may not be depressed at all, but it’s important that you look deeper for any possible reasons why he might be. Otherwise, maybe he is just looking for your attention and is clearly gaining it.
You could test this by giving him positive attention in another way in response to something good he has done.
This will take his attention away from his eating and encourage him to focus on this positive thing more frequently to gain the attention from you that he seeks. It may just be something seemingly small, but it could make a huge difference.
Again, this might not be it, but it is something worth testing and can only have a positive outcome for you both anyway.
On the other end of the spectrum, if the above seems to yield negative results, maybe you could consider being completely blunt with him and expressing the harsh reality of how you feel and that you find him boring.
This could obviously come with bad consequences so is something to consider very carefully and whether any good comes out of it.
If this is the route you take, you really need to be careful about how you get this message across to ensure it does, but in the best manner you can.
Amongst this of course it’s important to continue to put across your concerns, both from an Islamic perspective but also quite simply about your concerns for his health and any potential consequences down the line, that you love him and you don’t want that for him, or your family.
As well as this, there’s no harm in persisting with encouraging him to tame the eating and exercise more. Do it with him; exercise together.
Pick an exercise that he enjoys. You might even think of something that is not directly considered exercise but is more of a secondary outcome, such as doing something outdoors that requires a lot of walking, yet the focus may be something different.
Do this in such a way that he experiences a psychological benefit from doing this and will be encouraged to do it more, not just for the exercise but more to get pleasure from doing the activity.
Try different things until you find something he enjoys or that you both enjoy doing together.
May Allah reward your concern for your husband’s health and your attempts to support him in overcoming his difficulty.
May Allah guide him to what is best for him and your family and most pleasing to Him.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
