Writing about relationships online since 2009.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.
My mother worked for a large retail department store. One of her coworkers was a young man who enjoyed wearing skirts and dresses to work.
I'm not misgendering him; he preferred he/him pronouns and identified as male, even though he wore clothes that would traditionally be called "women's clothes." As he told my mother, "I am a man, but I like frilly things. I don't feel comfortable wearing men's clothes. That's why I like to wear my dresses, skirts, and blouses."
My mother's coworker was a handsome man who could rock a pair of high heels. His coworkers all adored him because of his winning personality and willingness to help anyone.
He was very hardworking and had no problem finding work, but he could never find a job that allowed him to dress the way he wanted. He always felt like he had to hide his true self when he went to work, but he was hoping this time would be different.
There was only one problem. The store manager didn't want him to wear skirts, blouses, and dresses. He wanted the young man to "dress the way you dressed when I hired you."
The young man was headstrong and continued wearing his preferred attire to work, high heels and all. He grew his hair out and had his nails done. "I dress better than half the management team in this store," he protested when confronted.
This didn't sit well with the manager, who wanted him to wear khakis and a polo shirt. The manager put his foot down, several times in fact, and refused to allow the employee to wear what he wanted to wear.
Finally, the manager said he either had to dress "appropriately" (i.e. dress pants and a collared shirt), or he would be sent home without pay. The next time the employee showed up for work without dress pants and a collared shirt, the manager sent him home, and the time after that.
The young man was at his wits' end. He loved his job, but he couldn't bear the thought of having to wear clothes that didn't make him feel comfortable.
My mother suggested he talk to human resources (HR) about the situation. The young man did, and HR policy was on his side as long as he wasn't wearing anything that might be unsafe for himself or others, he could dress however he wanted.
The young man went back to the manager and presented HR's policy. The manager read it, then said, "Fine. You can dress however you want. But if you think you're going to get away with wearing a skirt or dress to this job, you're sorely mistaken."
He was back to square one. The employee fought back, but he eventually gave up and found a new job.
This story highlights the discrimination that LGBTQIA+ people face in the workplace. This man was treated unfairly because he did not conform to traditional gender norms. He was told to dress a certain way, and when he didn't comply, he was punished.
What do you think? Is this man's story a victory or a defeat? How do you think the story would have ended differently if it had happened to a woman?
Writing about relationships online since 2009.
More from Tracey Folly
Years ago, I noticed something strange about the bottle of body wash I had recently purchased. It used to have beads of jojoba oil that would burst on your loofah or scrub brush, releasing a smooth oil to soothe and hydrate your skin.
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*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. What would you do if you asked someone if you could use their bathroom and came face to face not with a toilet but a cat litter box?
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a former partner, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. How far would you go to get a job? One man was so desperate for a job that he begged his former classmate to hire him as a dishwasher for months before he gave up.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. I worked at a group home in a nice residential neighborhood. It was just a regular three-bedroom house surrounded by the same.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. You're never too old to improve yourself. You're never too old to improve your dental health, and you're certainly never too old to get braces unless your orthodontist says so. Even then, you're entitled to a second opinion.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. Whether you're a personal trainer or a personal trainer's client, I think you will agree that grabbing onto another person's back fat with both hands and shaking it around for any reason is inappropriate. The only exception would be if someone actually invites you to clutch their fat rolls, jiggle them around, and then make comments about them. Trust me, I don't think you have to worry about that.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. Rocky marriages are a dime a dozen. With the United States divorce rate sitting not-so-pretty at forty-one percent of first marriages and sixty percent of second marriages, it would appear you're just as likely to find yourself in a bad marriage as a good one.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. My mother and I used to attend Weight Watchers meetings religiously. Of course, now they are known simply as WW, and we've stopped attending; those two things are not related.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. Many big department stores were located in the heart of the city when my mother was growing up. Those stores have long since been displaced by Walmarts and Targets on the city's outskirts.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a friend, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. Picture this: Three women go out to the club on a freezing cold Saturday night. Inside the club, one of those women meets a man. The woman is the trio's designated driver; she's the only one with a car. She wants to get to know the man from the club better sooner than later. What does she do?
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. I dated a man whose mother insisted, "Ladies don't drink when they eat." I'm not talking about alcoholic beverages.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. Spiders are quite the little artists when it comes to spinning their webs. My family and I had our very own spider artist in residence over the summer. It lived on our front porch and built its web directly in front of our security camera. That meant we had a 24/7 live feed of our guest's activity, and let me tell you, that spider was incredibly active.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. What if you threw a party, and no one came? That's what happened to my coworker when she invited a group of people to help her celebrate turning one year older and ended up sitting in a restaurant alone.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. I had been working at a small office for about a month when I met Molly, one of the other employees. She was quiet and reserved, but from what I could tell she was a nice person. I soon learned that Molly lived with her mother and their two dogs. They didn't have any modern luxuries such as cell phones or landlines.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. When my best friend and I were teens, we loved to spend our afternoons playing games in the neighborhood. One of our favorites was bouncing a tennis ball back and forth between us while walking down the sidewalk on opposite sides of the street. It was always a fun way to pass time, but it eventually led to an unexpected adventure.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a friend, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. I had a friend who was married, but he had a secret. He had a girlfriend, living overseas, and he would send her cash and presents regularly. I knew about it but never said anything to his wife. That was years ago, and now I can’t shake the guilt of knowing what my friend was doing behind his wife's back.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission. It is a common question whether or not parents are obligated to buy their children a car once they get their driver's licenses. The answer is no, parents are not legally obligated to purchase a car for their child once they obtain their driver's license.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission. I dated a man who was obsessed with teeth; I've written about him in the past. He was the fellow who wanted me to file my teeth down to make them straighter and demanded I have a misaligned tooth pulled for no reason but that he didn't like it.
*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I witnessed firsthand; used with permission. When your adult children live with you, should you place limits on how much food or beverage they can consume from the family fridge? That was the issue facing one man and his parents after he drank an entire gallon of fruit juice with every meal but didn't contribute financially to the family grocery bill.
