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Craigslist is a great tool for getting werk done. Need a graphic designer? Craigslist. Need a job? Craigslist. Need a handyman? Try Craigslist. Need a boyfriend? Definitely Craigslist.
But there are times on Craigslist where Justin Bieber's new song comes to mind: "…like actually, what do you mean?"
The following are examples of those times, highlighted in glorious screenshot form and saved as a little Timbit® of history to enjoy as you please.
NOTE: these are 100% real:
"Looking to purchase your worn socks if you're interested. Let me know if you wear socks! :)"
You wear socks? Yes? This male is looking to purchase.
"We both like cheese and vegetables."
Honestly, cheese is THE best, therefore this is a perfectly fine start to the beginning of any prosperous romance.
"Hi, it may seem a bit weird but I fantasize about picking some women's boogers out of her sexy nose and eating them."
You can trust this guy because he is a lawyer. And he went to UofT.
"I love lego! And I have lego even though no-one who knows me knows I have an extensive collection. So let's play lego!"
This seems so innocent. Is it really though?
"Average white guy with an exhibitionist streak offering to make deliveries to your door totally nude. Must be something I can carry (a package, a pizza or something else of similar size).
Interested?"
In case you were wondering, Toronto is home to Naked News AND a naked pizza man. Bonus: delivery is free.
"If you are cute and game and can do AT LEAST HALF of the following, then lets talk and see if we like each other."
Rest assured, finding a boyfriend on Craigslist is easy. If this is what you came for, stop here. Stop NOW. Finding a boyfriend like Land Pirate is simple. All you need to be able to do is the following:
Speak Spanish (check)
Bribe a Latin American Police Officer (check?)
Do a Sudoku (you got this!)
Stay off your iPhone for an entire day (…maybe not)
Walk barefoot across a gravel parking lot (I think Land Pirate is trying to kill you)
Abort mission.
"I have a ghost hunting team."
Okay this is NOT Toronto; it's "technically" Brampton. But who's really keeping score? These are the real life Ghostbusters, okay? This post is not to be taken lightly. Also, it's "ok" if you try to sell this poster your Girl Guide cookies. Cool!
In case you were having trouble sleeping, here's a present.
"Did you ever wish you could cut your pizza with a more galactic utensil?"
YES, YES I HAVE.
Note to poster: you should be selling this for WAY more than $10.
Love ya Toronto! Stay classy.
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